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Response to Jan. 2004 Sacred Journal Dear Charlene, Here is my response to your January 2004 Sacred Journal inquiry. It sounds terribly old fashioned to me. If you told me that this was written in the 1700's I would believe you. I feel that there is a masculine and a feminine energy in all relationships, male and female, male and male, and female and female, and also polygamous relationships. There is usually one masculine energy, the giver/provider, and one feminine energy the receiver nurturer. I do believe that to have a lasting union, one must have several levels of attraction, it isn't totally necessary to have a good relationship, as long as both parties "know" what the other expects or needs, and they fulfill that need, then the relationship is successful. I have dated several men in my time, who were very feminine, and all I wanted was sex, it worked well. We both knew what we wanted and expected, and we fulfilled each other, and that was that. The relationship ended when one person moved, or changed what they wanted from the other. I have dated other men, who wanted a companion, and no sex, that worked fine, as long as we both knew what was expected and what was needed. The relationship still continues, just as any friendship continues, with ebbs and flows. However to state that the "man" is the provider seems very provincial to me. I believe that either may choose to be the provider (masculine energy), and that either may choose to be the nurturer.(feminine energy). There seemed to me to be an energy that states that the "man" must win the woman, and that the woman must be available to the man by having sex with him, and only him. I truly believe that in this day and age, and actually this is a very ancient belief, that the woman is the one who chooses the sexual partner, not based on whether he can provide for her financially, but whether she enjoys him, and she can pursue many such unions. When a woman's sexuality is understood, that she is in charge of her body, and that she can choose her own multiple or single partners, then she is exalted as her own "goddess self". Men, have had this privilege for years also, however it has been thought of as natural for men to enjoy sex, and not women. I can't actually believe that this kind of belief is still in existence, and yet I see it so often, when doing readings. Women can provide for themselves, and can choose whomever they want to have a sexual relationship with. Men have this same opportunity. There is no reason to say that a man has to win a women, or that she has to succumb to his advances. She can be the pursuer, and I see no reason why she would be waiting home by the phone wondering why he hasn't called. I truly believe that this is John Grey's personal fantasy of how women think and behave. I have often thought that he was too much into himself. I do hear often of women who are not in their own power and wait for "someone" to rescue them, but I believe that they are this way because of TV programming, romance novels, and society, all who support the "Cinderella Myth" That is she is pretty and good, her handsome rich prince will come along and rescue her. As if any woman really needs to be rescued from anything. I have always believed that "marriage" is an archaic form of chattel exchange between two dominant males. And because of this, I think that we should choose to re-educate women, and men, instead of trying to make them believe is something so out of date. If monogamy was "natural" then people would be doing it naturally. However that is not the case, people have continually chosen to be unfaithful to a partner over and over again, men, women, it doesn't matter the gender, it has been a challenge throughout history, and many wars have been fought over this "belief". "Uncivilized" tribes have allowed and even embraced polygamy, or simply sexual freedom and have lived happily for centuries doing just that. It has been "civilized" men and women who seem to feel the need to "control" their countries by using fear based religion, and the belief that "marriage" is the only way to have a happy family. By looking at the "civilized" countries today, I think that this is all nonsense. Christine W, WA | |||
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